I remember agonizing for hours and hours about loneliness and my inability to attract a mate. This was the driving force for many a song and many a painting. I mean, it was my artistic obsession. And when I did manage to briefly have a relationship, it was usually more agonizing than the loneliness. I mean I had BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD relationships. I could write books! By the time I was 27 I was convinced that no woman would ever openly love me. And, my senior art exhibit was a huge success.
So, here I am. And man, I met a wonderful woman. And somehow, I convinced her to marry me. So where does that leave me as an artist? I mean, I lost my source of PAIN! Well, for a year of dating and almost 2 years of marriage now, I dried up. I made a few images here and there, but nothing like before. And, it's really not just the love thing, I mean, I'm almost 32 now. Rock Stardom was a long shot even at 27 (or 25) So, music took a back seat pretty easily too.
But, lately I've noticed it's still there. There is in me still, that urge to create. It really had nothing to do with pain after all. It was simply that I felt I had something to contribute, and I still do. Our society is not kind to the arts. If what our artists are creating can't be thrown down at the alters of Sex and Money, we don't want it. Oh, I'm sorry, Sex money and the alleviation of boredom, which seems to be a chronic recurrence in our times. Well, I think I have ideas to communicate that do not sit comfortable within our fast food frame work. In fact, I am critical of our present culture on many levels.
I'm starting to think it's these same rebellious (revolutionary?) tendencies within me that inform my technology choices as well. I've loved the Macintosh from the day I met it, and even have a warm spot in my heart for my Elementary school's Apple IIe. I love them, because to me, Apple's philosophy has always been, "Make it better". Excellence. Arete, to use the Ancient Greek word for it. Sure, they've let loose a few stinkers (Lisa, The 20th Anniversary Mac, Flaming Power Books...) but they have also always been committed to innovation. The Newton predated the Palm OS by years. They introduced the GUI to save me from BASIC and DOS, and then reintroduced me to the command line 18 years later, when I was ready for it, but even then, OS X is light years beyond the plain ole *nix it sits on top of. OS X is
beautiful! I've also always been kinda partial to Netscape and it's descendents, because I always felt they were trying to make a great browser, while Microsoft was just trying to conquer a market. Sure, they failed on occasion. Netscape 6 was the most bloated crash prone piece of crud I ever used. But I always give their new releases a look, because I believe in their Vision. (and yet I HATE AOL, but that's another rant)
Anyway, what I'm getting at is, this is why I think I'm starting to fall for Linux. Hell, I can't use it any better than my mom can use Windows XP. But, the idea that there is this mass computer culture out there who is struggling to find a better way is so appealing to me. Open source, as an idea and a community is beautiful to me. And, some of the things they come up with... Mozilla Firefox is WONDERFUL. Sure, I use Safari on the Mac for the most part, but I have Firefox on every Mac, Windows, and Linux machine in the house. It's fast and accurate and, just a much better internet experience that IE was for me on ANY platform. I find my current distro, Fedora Core 1, to be just rock solid and a great user experience. Even for the Linux novice like me. So now I am hearing Fedora Core 2 blows chunks. That's ok. I won't upgrade, but I still believe in the ideas that drive any Linux distro, and I am grateful to the programmers that give so much time and effort to the cause. Maybe some day I'll learn to code, maybe not. But I have to admire the community, communication, and cooperation it takes to make a movement like open source, and thus Linux work. And I am proud that, in my own little way, I am somehow involved with it.
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And that's enough for now.
Brian Norwood
Platypi DesignLabels: geeky